by David & Faye Bailey
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Italian version: Benvenuti su www.exbaba.it, l'unico sito critico su Sathya Sai Baba
German version: Die Findings
Introduction by Faye Bailey
The Findings are something that both David and I never thought or knew existed, and although neither of us could have ever even imagined that one day we would be compiling them, the unthinkable has happened.
The following is the spelling out of a situation that exists with Sai
Baba. Sadly, it is extremely negative, and will possibly shock and distress you
greatly as it did us, when we found ourselves in the incredible position of
being presented with information we could not ignore. Once David accepted that
something was very, very wrong, he began his own research. He has been very
thorough, meanwhile hoping and praying every moment that the things he was
uncovering were untrue. These findings are the last thing we both would ever
have wanted. However, they exist. We ask only that you read them all before
forming any judgement.
Apart from our separate personal experiences, there are also included experiences of others, chosen from many such, which are an integral part of unveiling this huge, illusory global scam - the biggest hoax in the God business. A veritable mountain of information is now available, far more than I can possibly place before you. My task is to report the findings I do offer accurately, while presenting a cross section of untenable behaviour, lies uncovered and magic exposed. David has spent long hours and many months, talking to people all over the world, whilst unravelling this tangled skein of years of deceit accumulated around the said “divinity incarnate”, but he is not alone in this. Courageous people on every continent are banding together to expose the monumental spiritual fraud which has been perpetrated for the personal gain of a select group, headed by Sai Baba.
Disillusioned people of every rank and file who have also found what lies behind the facade - including ex-students of the Sai colleges, judges, doctors, government ministers in Europe, the Americas, Australia and beyond - are in agreement that it is now time to share their findings. There are hundreds of personal accounts which tear the veil from the "avatar". I give only a few. Due to verbosity from some of the contributors, I have edited the information, but not altered its context. Contributors have given permission to be quoted and identified. The accounts that follow are merely a fraction of those available, all describing a situation that has been functional for many years. This is an opportunity to become aware of it, thus moving in to a position enabling informed choice, rather than one coming from ignorance.
I begin with my personal revelations. Those who read David's and my books (written before our discoveries and since removed from sale by us), know our history. How devoted we were to Sai Baba, to the point of each marrying the other, even though we were strangers from opposite sides of the world. How we travelled the world speaking of the wonder of him.
So, what happened to change everything?
When the dark side of Sai Baba began to be revealed to David, at first I refused to listen, unable to bear hearing anything negative about my beloved "avatar of the age". This unhappy state of affairs continued for six months, until on our next visit to India, I had my own validation of David’s findings. Can you imagine how it felt as I began to see beyond the veil? For years I had enjoyed the privilege of being called to the interview room and had spent every moment there, focused only on Swami’s face; until David suggested that I shift my attention to his hands. Watching rings, watches and other trinkets being palmed, or pulled out from the side of chair cushions, and seeing vibhuti tablets held between fingers before being crushed and “manifest” was a horrifying revelation, a personal catastrophe for me. I had given up my life, my marriage, husband, children, home, career and homeland because of my love for Sai Baba - only to find trickery at the epicentre of all I held dear.
During subsequent interviews, increasingly aghast as I watched the same things happen again and again, I kept silently pleading Why? Why do it ?? This illusionist activity totally destroyed my trust in one whom I expected to practise the truth he preached. But magician’s tricks were the very least of it. As time passed, and people began sharing their own experiences and findings with us, my world of divine-guru centred spirituality came crashing down.
Whilst still at the ashram, the worst thing for me - as a mother of sons - occurred when a young man, a college student, came to our room, to plead with David. Please Sir, do something to stop him sexually abusing us (!). These sons of devotees, unable to bear their untenable position of being unwilling participants in a pederasty situation any longer, yet unable to share this with their parents because they would be disbelieved, placed their trust in David; a trust which had built over his five years as a visiting professor of music to the Sai college.
Later that night the same young man returned to our room in great distress, to implore David not to reveal his name, saying that he feared expulsion from the college, and even worse than that, for his personal safety, if it were to be found out that he had spoken of these things. David was able to reassure him that he didn’t know his name, therefore could not, and would not, ever identify him. But this interaction and shocking revelation was merely the tip of an iceberg of sickening information, an iceberg that was to batter then sink our years of blind devotion
Becoming increasingly cognisant of Sai Baba’s sexual activity involving violation of basic human rights with the children (as young as seven years old) under his care, and the growing list of one deceit after another in activities stemming from him, brought awareness of the depth of our own emotional investment. Awareness also, of the devastation these discoveries wrought in us. We were placed in an untenable situation; unable to risk creating similar chaos in other spiritual seekers of like investment. The only course was to say little and move away, which caused a furore of angry and untrue rumours about us to proliferate.
Last year, David felt it appropriate to share his findings when personally questioned, but the dilemma of whether to speak or not tested me sorely. I felt keenly the responsibility of holding this negative knowledge; recognising that silence made me part of the conspiracy, but kept praying that given time, somehow, all of it would be satisfactorily explained away. It was not to be.
Over the past eighteen months we have become privy to so many serious, and horrific allegations, and so much damning information sent from disillusioned ex-devotees from all over the world (in particular, from ex-students of Sai Baba's male colleges) which supported our own findings, that it is now impossible to remain silent.
As editor of a magazine that has as its mandate the seeking of truth, I have no option but to fulfil my responsibility to that mandate. My decision to do so, follows much personal anguish, and earnest prayer, and I have been given the necessary support and courage by my inner guidance and outer, true friends.
It is not the doctrine of Sai Baba that is being scrutinised, but his practices within it - not the message, but the messenger. His message is for the most part, one of universal verities, even though his teachings have been found to have many contradictions, misquotes and proven anomalies.
The allegations I have gathered to record here, are in regard to the global scam he perpetrates. His chicanery, illusion, fraud, embezzlement, implication with murders, ongoing paedophile activities and the almost impenetrable fortress of lies creating his “divinity”. The weight of detailed descriptive testimony regarding his participation in sexual activity with willing - and unwilling partners (both students and visiting foreigners), discounting the widely distributed justification of “kundalini raising”. The super speciality hospital and water project being shown to be paper tigers, with apparent embezzlement of money, organ theft and unfulfilled hydration promises.
There are known investigations at governmental level world wide. The Sai school has been closed in Sweden. A veritable volcano is about to erupt, due to the disquiet of many, many people. The Internet has had a major role in this. The mass of experience and evidence being presented there is hard, thrusting, knife edged; and backed by courageous ex-devotees prepared to put their names to such statements for the good of all. David has personally contacted many of the contributors, and listened as they verbally verified and further described their own experiences.
Sadly, there is no way this letter can be gently worded. The truth that THIS SITUATION EXISTS will stand. It will stand, whether it is believed or not.
I fully appreciate the grief and awful sense of loss reading these revelations may bring to you. David and I have experienced it and we know how terrible it can be. I send you my love and empathy.
Faye Bailey, Editor
PERSONAL EXPERIENCES - By David Bailey
I have written this because so many rumours (often completely untrue) have spread about Faye and myself, as to why we moved away from Sai Baba. I know that what you are going to read here may cause you deep distress. The situation I am about to reveal, is certainly not something we could ever have imagined possible.
I only ask you to read it all, while accepting that these are my personal experiences. I share with you my truth. No more, no less.
There have been many sleepless nights as I grappled with the task of what to do and how to cope with this indisputable factual information, in the light of my responsibility to the many, many people who read my books and heard me speak.
The following findings are a result of my heart-aching research, over a period of three years”
During darshan, Sai Baba carries vibhuti in tablet form between the third and fourth fingers of his right hand, with spare tablets in the hand holding up his robe. He crushes a tablet when required, and transfers tablets during the taking of letters. I have watched this happen innumerable times. Once on the mandir porch he dropped a tablet in front of me, and told a member of the Trust to ¡Eat it Quickly!!
Tablet-palming can be clearly seen on many videos, if slowed down to frame-by-frame viewing, including in our wedding day interview video, used at the beginning of ¡God lives in India! This video has been removed from sale by the Trust.
Australian television, in it’s programme “60 MINUTES” (their equivalent of “PANORAMA”) showed how these B grade” conjuring tricks are done.
Vibhuti tablets explain why vibhuti distribution runs out in the interview room before everyone has had some.
All powder vibhuti is produced by roasting cow dung with sandal wood, and manufactured vibhuti bought elsewhere, is then double sieved by ladies of the ashram seva dal, before being packaged for interview room distribution.
Use of vibhuti on open wounds consistently causes infection in them; a fact commented by Faye to me when she was called to deal with people having these infections in the ashram.
All are worthless trinkets. Some are bought in Puttaparthi village, but mainly they come from Bangalore and Hyderabad. I made it my business to meet one of the jewellers concerned and have this information verified.
I was told by Sai Baba and also by members of his inner circle, that my "materialised" ring with it's huge stone was a sixty-four faceted diamond of great commercial value. After leaving the ashram in December 1998, I damaged one of the clasps on the ring and took it to a jeweller in southern India, many hundreds of kilometers away. This stranger immediately recognised it as a "Sai Baba" ring. He told me that the metal it was made of was not gold, also that the stone was a valueless zircon, and under it there was a piece of silver paper to make the zircon glitter, which was why the back of the ring was solid. He informed me that these hard backed rings are especially made for Sai Baba. As he took the stone out to repair the damaged clasp, sure enough, a piece of silver paper fell out, and the stone thus revealed was seen to be a zircon.
The then Sai organisation co-ordinator of Ireland was with Faye and me at the time, and another lady who had a Baba ring in which a face (attributed to Baba because of the black head of hair round a small “face”), could be seen. The jeweller showed us how these are made. A piece of coloured glass has a small piece of silver paper behind it so that at certain angles it reflects the colour of one’s own face. This is surrounded by a circular ring of black enamel to give the impression of hair. He lifted the stone out of the ring and proved this also, was so. The Irish co-ordinator took photos of the rings. On his return to Ireland, he resigned and left the organisation.
When Sai Baba decides to give someone a robe in the interview room, he does so as a cover to get further trinkets from his store in the back room. More than a few times Faye and I have heard the sound of a drawer being opened and the tinkle of metallic things being moved. He returns with them hidden under the robe (and we have watched him transferring trinkets from under the robe on his lap to his right hand - it's just so obvious when you look) before waving his hand while faking a materialisation. His velvet chair contains objects hidden in the sides. We have seen them there and then observed his sleight of hand as he brings them out of hiding.
But, well before I was aware of these things, I began to have some doubts about the authenticity of Sai Baba's claims of divine manifestation. During my second interview, one of the first things I noticed which bothered me was that someone asked him to repair a broken chain on a japamala, and another had lost a stone from a ring. He did nothing at the time, but said "No, no, I will change for new one tomorrow!" I found this very perplexing. Why, if he could create anything at will, which is what I had been told, did he not blow on these things and repair them then? I now know why. He cannot.
I have not seen him do a genuine healing on anybody in all my time of being close to him, and having had innumerable interviews. I have seen him tell people to stand up, and get out of wheel chairs, but the effect is not lasting. He generally ignores the sick and frail ones, giving out as reason, their karma.The Australian "pink twins" continue to use wheel chairs, in spite of Sai Baba's claims of healing them and their claims of being healed. A sad case for me is Maynard Ferguson. Over three years of deterioration in his hearing; during several interviews with him and his wife, he, his wife and myself asked - pleaded with Swami, to heal him. Every time, he promised to do so, but now Maynard is very deaf and has to rely on two powerful hearing aids to help him. As a fellow musician I know what this must mean to him in his heart.
Once Faye and I had an interview in the company of an elderly, rather frail Indian gentleman who used to sit on the verandah near me. He asked Sai Baba for help for his failing health. Swami, behind his back shrugged his shoulders at us, saying in what we both thought was a rather an unfeeling aside “And what can I do? Cancer. Too far gone, too far gone.”
Faye has had her own experience of him giving health advice she trustingly followed, which nearly caused permanent damage to her, before she at last resorted to western medical treatment for her complaint.
The German co-ordinator whom I visited in the super speciality hospital after he”d had a stroke, was eventually taken back to the verandah, but Swami did not heal him. The elderly man has gone back to Germany, and some two years later is little improved.
I believe any healing claimed by Sai Baba is in fact, a personal inner healing activated by the person himself or herself.
The mandir ceiling is now covered in gold leaf. I was shown a piece of this gold leaf which had fallen from the ceiling. I ask myself, “Why, in a country of such appalling poverty, does he allow this escalating show of opulence to occur? The mandir at my last count had one hundred and sixty-seven chandeliers instead of the original thirty-six. What on earth for? Sai Baba now has several luxury cars supposedly "gifted" by rich devotees. Why is more than one necessary? This is reminiscent of other cult leaders such as Rajneesh.
I know Sai Baba doesn”t live only on rice and chappattis as he claims. His evening meal consists of six to eight different dishes prepared for him every night, and Faye and I have shared the “left overs” several times, having gone with someone to collect the remains of the meal from his rooms. He claimed to Faye that he “Drinks no tea, no coffee. Only hot water” - yet has drunk coffee with me.
During the preparation of the 1997 Christmas Day students” programme, I was in interview with the students, and we were discussing with Swami, the music and story of Jesus” birth which the boys were going to present. When "We Three Kings from Orient are..." was mentioned, Sai Baba directed that this song not be sung, saying "No, no, no! There were no kings. They did not exist." Yet in his January 1996 discourse he said "When Christ was born, three kings came to see the infant."
It is claimed by a few people that different lights can be seen around Sai Baba.
Everybody has an aura, which one can learn to see. There is a book by Mark Smith for example, called "Auras - See them in 60 Seconds". The existence of this light does not confirm divinity. There’s only been a handful of people around the world who claim to have seen Sai Baba's aura. Anyone who has made this claim to me, has been an ardent devotee.
I have been shown photographs with unrecognisable light shapes on them, and been told by the presenter that these represent Sai Baba, Krishna, Gopis and others. What would be the point of divinity appearing in this indistinguishable way? And what proof can it be of the said divinity? According to Kodak laboratories, light emissions on photographs are caused by intermittent camera malfunction and/or film idiosyncrasy, and the most common emission colours are orange and white.
The Super Speciality Hospital
I know that one wing has never been opened, supposedly through lack of funds.
Yet, we are told that just one of the many donations given for the building was US$ 49,000,000.00 (forty-nine million US dollars!). This converts to approximately ST£ 30,000,000.00 (thirty million pounds sterling!) Names of many other large benefactors are listed in the hospital reception area, making the funds donated for this complex absolutely mind boggling. In relative terms money can buy five times in India what it can here. I question what happens to these huge amounts of donated money.
A doctor I sat near on the mandir porch, who works in this hospital, told me never to let anyone I cared about go there as the sanitation is disgusting and the lack of aseptic technique, appalling. This allegation has been repeated numerous times in correspondence we have received, by people who have seen through the hospital.
The Renal department is now also closed.
There is bad publicity regarding allegations of theft of a kidney and subsequent current legal action being taken in India. (see page 28). In 1997 Australian national television “60 Minutes” critically investigated the super speciality hospital, and Sai Baba's claims of divinity.
Details for obtaining this video are as follows :
God Botherers Segment - Ex: 60 Minutes Tx: 24/8/97 9 Network Australia, Archives Division
4 Cleg street - Artarmon NSW 2064 Tel: + 9439 4500 Fax: + 9906 4415 AUSTRALIA
The Water Project
It has been claimed that all seven hundred and fifty villages in the Sai Baba Water Project are now receiving water. This I believed until I was shown a Telegu newspaper with a front page feature article showing photos of villages with no water, broken pipes, no pipes, pipes and no tanks, and many with nothing at all. The headlines translated, read:
"SAI BABA WHERE'S OUR WATER? YOU'VE CHEATED US AGAIN!".
I went to some of these villages within the project radius and found for myself that the report was correct. My questioning local businessmen in the area revealed some interesting information. General opinion concurred that the project had been set up because the ashram had many problems with it's own insufficient well supply; one of which was constantly recurring gastric disturbances, particularly with foreign devotees.
Request for permission to lay a water pipeline to the ashram fell on government’s deaf ears, the response being that unless villages along the proposed line could also be supplied, permission would be withheld. Hence the huge global fund raising, which also perplexed me - having been indoctrinated with the “no fund raising” policies given out by Sai Baba. Within twelve months an effective pipeline to the ashram and a selection of villages was established, and then the work stopped. At my consternation at being of told this scandalous situation, the village elders simply shrugged their shoulders saying ¡What can we do?!
As Faye and I travelled around the world, speaking to Sai Baba groups, after almost every meeting people would come to us asking for help because of the financial trickery they had experienced at the ashram. In particular, over giving many thousands of pounds, dollars, marks or whatever for a unit there, and never getting one, let alone being given a receipt for the money. Then, when eventually disheartened, they attempted to retrieve their money, they were told there were no records of the transaction. We heard this story many times.
It is a common practice at retreats and meetings, for new devotees to be told that Sai Baba does not need donations.
This happened at Downe House Public School (nr. Newbury), where a series of weekend retreats were held during school holidays. However, when the new devotees had been to more than one weekend, they were taken aside individually and given a bank account number at the Bank of India in Andhra Pradesh, to which donations can be sent.
On some occasions, with particularly gullible targets, a printed paragraph was given - to be inserted into a will for donations to be made. Such people were also told that sending money to the Sathya Sai Medical Trust in India was inheritance tax effective, as the Indian Trust is a registered charity in the United Kingdom. This of course is untrue. Such donations do not attract inheritance tax relief. The above allegation of fraud is supported by a statement from a lawyer and others who were personally involved.
Not surprisingly, Downe House has since banned any further Sai Organisation meetings on it”s premises.
We spoke to people who had written dozens of letters over serious personal situations and had had no response, and no change in the situation. Desperate and despondent, these people turned to us as their last hope, asking us to intercede for them with Sai Baba, whom they believed was omnipotent (but not, seemingly omniscient).
Concerned mothers, and young men of various ages would ask to speak to me in confidence about intimate incidents they had had with Swami. They told me about alleged sexual activity, each story replicating the previous one. Swami would take these young men and boys into the private interview room alone with him, then insist that they take their trousers down and he would massage them, often masturbating them, and/or insisting on oral sex and sometimes collecting their semen in his handkerchief. This left me speechless! I knew of the book written by Tal Brook in the 70's called "Lord of the Air" where he detailed the sexual harassment he had undergone with Sai Baba, but this book had always been dismissed by long established devotees as a collection of mischief making lies told by an angry young man. And yet Faye's own son had been kissed repeatedly on his cheeks and the corners of his mouth when alone in the inner room with Sai Baba, and also sexually touched. And when it was obvious to Sai Baba that this behaviour was unwelcome, he began berating the young man in subsequent interviews with Faye, calling him “Mad dog! Hard hearted!” and so on. At the time this seemed incongruous; it was only after we began travelling the world that the inconceivable and incomprehensible began to make itself clear.
When I asked various co-ordinators about these many disturbing incidents reported to me in our travels, I was told that Swami was "raising kundalini". I questioned this in my mind. If he was capable of doing anything, why did he have to physically touch the boys, especially when they were unwilling? And what about when he had them actively engage in sex to him? It seems that an ongoing, serious and untenable infringement of basic human rights is being scurrilously perpetrated, in the name of "divinity".
I didn't ever hear any stories about girls having their kundalini raised in this way.
On my last visit to Puttaparthi, a male student came and asked me for help, on behalf of some of his fellow students, because they were desperately in need of someone to stop Swami sexually abusing them. I was told how Sai Baba had for years been demanding that these particular boys have oral sex, and group sex for his pleasure. Their details matched what I had already been told so many times round the world. I asked him if this was an acceptable practice in India, and his look of horror as he denied it, spoke volumes.
Then he asked me a question I couldn't answer:
"Sir, why do you think ex-students tried to kill him in '93 ...?" (!!!)
I turned to several long time devotees on the verandah for explanation of these nefarious activities, and worried them with questions and suppositions until in the end they realised that I had found the truth, and then admitted that these things do happen; and then - agreed with each other that it was for his pleasure and nothing to do with kundalini raising.
Different national co-ordinators I spoke to, both in India and after we returned home, continued for a time, to deny that it happens. But when it became obvious that I was not going to leave this issue alone, a couple of them telephoned me to say that yes I was correct and they had known of this for years. "But he is God, and God can do anything he likes." (!!!)
Early in 1999 a young Swedish man returned from a visit to the ashram and made a full statement to his co-ordinating committee about his sexual experiences with Swami during six interviews. Within hours of this revelation, one of the top officials of Sweden’s Sai organisation was on our doorstep, asking why we had left Sai Baba. He and his wife, both really lovely people, were absolutely devastated to hear the young man's story confirmed. After saying brokenly "I cannot be part of this" he went outside and sat on the steps in our front garden and sobbed his heart out. He had been a devotee for more than twenty years, and his wife had written two books on Sai Baba and another was already at the point of being printed.
He went home to resign his position from something he had given years of his life and his love to, and she cancelled her book and withdrew the others from the market. Within days there was public confirmation - that these things I had spoken about through the year to a small number of serious seekers of truth - were indeed happening to others as well.
Soon after, the Sai school in Sweden closed.
Due to this courageous young man’s statement, the unmentionable began being mentioned, then mentioned increasingly loudly, by increasing numbers of young men. The Swedish publicity began a flurry of exposures. Swedish film star Conny Larsson revealed his own experiences, which are included in this fact file. Our phone ran hot with young men from all over Europe sharing their pain.
One teenager rang from France and confided that he had wanted to commit suicide ever since his own experience of sexual harassment, as he couldn’t live with the thought that he must be gay. He said he was very relieved to hear that there were other victims.
* * *
Schools and colleges.
The Education In Human Values system was developed by Dr . Gokak , at one time a member of Sai Baba’s professorial board . Sai Baba has not written any part of this system . Dr . Gokak left Sai Baba some years ago.
I was led to believe that the schools and colleges in Puttaparthi and Whitefield had been set up to give free education to local children. This is not the case. Last year the fees at the lower grade schools were 20,000 rupees per child for one year, plus books, plus uniform plus accommodation if required.
The village school is government run, and as are all village schools throughout India, and is free - parents pay only for books and uniform.
Assuming that the college boys I taught were local lads, I was amazed at their learning capacity, until I discovered that these boys were brought in from all over India and had to pass very strict entrance exams, needing 85-90% pass marks. As one of the tutors said to me ¡Sai Baba takes only the best. They'd have to try, to fail!.
One of my concerns with these lads, was that they had no career officer to guide them as to where they may find a job, and they would return after leaving college and ask me for advice about how to get employment. This occurred regularly over the five years I interacted with them.
Peggy, a professional journalist who wrote for spiritual magazines, went to see Sai Baba with her husband Ron Laing and had a number of interviews during their short stay. Both she and Ron were enchanted with Swami (as indeed I was at first), and this one visit was the basis for their subsequent writings.
In December 1997 on our way to Gatwick airport to leave for India, we collected a letter written to Swami by Peggy.
I gave the letter to him during the next afternoon darshan.
The following morning I received a fax to say that Peggy had died.
A few days later I had an interview in the company of the editor of the Sanathana Sarathi, and he told Swami that Faye was now editor of Peggy Mason's magazine.
SB : 'Yes, yes. It's in very good hands, now make it go! How is Peggy Mason?'
Me : 'She has merged with you'
SB : 'Yes. She lives near you in England'!
Me : 'She lived eighty miles from me, but she died a few days ago Swami. She is with you!'
SB : 'Yes, yes, her husband was a good man. When you go home, give my regards to her'.
Me : 'She is dead Swami. Dead! She has merged with you!'
SB : 'Give her my love when you get back to England!'
Me : 'I cannot Swami, because she is DEAD!'
SB : 'Oh ?? Oh.....'
In another interview a few days later, (this time with Faye) Swami seemed very confused and spoke randomly without making coherent sense for a minute or so, and ended by telling all in the room that Peggy Mason had played the trumpet very well during the Christmas celebrations just completed in the ashram. He was not making a joke and we were both nonplussed and very disturbed, and everyone else there also looked puzzled and somewhat concerned about these ramblings, as they had all heard Maynard Ferguson play trumpet on Christmas day
On two occasions he called us into the private interview room and questioned me intently about someone in the outer room. Then after we had both returned to the outer room he repeated everything I had just told him, no more, no less, while implying he was getting the information by “tuning in”.
This possibly explains why he thought I was American in the first instance, even referring to me in his discourse as American. Perhaps someone had given him incorrect data...?
My greatest difficulty at this time, was finding someone other than Faye, to talk to about all these disturbing findings. Everyone I knew from the west had had much less interactive experience with Swami than I had. During my six years of being devoted to him I had had over one hundred close encounters in the way of interviews and work sessions, and been very involved with him during my times of teaching the students in the male college.
For most devotees, a visit to the ashram means sitting in the darshan lines looking on, wishing and hoping for interaction, whilst listening to the stories others tell. This is very different to being “in there” - seeing how things work behind the scenes.
I had to find someone who had had the same level of experience as I had.
I began to look for Terry Gallagher, an Australian whom, I heard, had been close to Swami before my time. Terry had been Central Coordinator for the Sai organisation in Australia for three years, and had been given very preferential treatment from Sai Baba for a number of years. I traced him to Kiama in New South Wales, Australia.
I knew he had left the ashram vowing never to return, and I wanted to know why? I soon found out. Terry had discovered the unmentionable inner workings of Sai Baba as I had now done. Exactly the same... but more. Terry left, never to return after the assassination attempt by ex-students in 1993. I wanted to know what Terry knew. I soon did.
(Terry’s own experiences – Art II)
Is this why there are so few really "long standing" western followers around? Do those who get close, get too close and discover that the mighty "Wizard of Oz" is just a little magician? In this case, a little magician who is also a paedophile?
Do they then discern that "God wouldn’t do that" and leave?
Premanand, another with a very close connection to Sai Baba some years before Terry’s time, had also discovered the truth behind the facade and left. Premanand now shares his findings on Internet.
There are many instances of vibhuti etc appearing on pictures around the world. Very often in homes and temples where non-stop bhajans are sung, which may well have something to do with the appearance of this phenomena. Generally speaking, we in the west know so little about mind power and the power of vibration. However some of these appearances of vibhuti are fake, and can be created by chemical means.
Some would appear to be genuine, but my research in this area leads me to determine that the appearance of phenomena does not automatically mean it comes from Swami, or has any divine connection whatsoever. Whilst in India Faye and I saw many examples of phenomena. Enough to know that the ability to do phenomena does not make one divine.
My suspicions once aroused about Swami’s divinity, gave me no peace.
Things I blindly accepted because I had been told they were so, did not stand up in the light of close scrutiny. Even the men in power around him, although they act out a role of subservient adoration when in front of Sai Baba, play a different part away from him. On occasions I was with members of the inner circle, Mr Rao for example, in the main office. Once, I had been sent by Swami for something and the reply he gave me ended with the words ¡Swami doesn't know what he is talking about! (!) Yet they perpetrate the idea that he knows everything.
Over this questioning span of many months I have had my share of indoctrination procedure from those in high places. While at the ashram, my very first queries brought intense social interaction from an Indian inner circle member who, unknown and uninvited, visited Faye and me in our unit after almost every darshan for a week, to tell us of the many wonders of Swami's miraculous powers. Only later did we understand why he did this.
Once back home, when rumours were beginning to fly about our defection from the fold, I received several phone calls from long standing devotees from the VIP lines, telling me that I had a problem. I had to decide if Sai Baba was God or not. If he was God, then he could do everything he wanted to anyone, sexually, fraudulently, drugs, trickery etc, but of course if I did not accept him as God, then I had my own view of morals, and the laws of my land to follow.
For me there was no choice to make.
I know there are instances worldwide of people going to Prashanthi, and coming back with a new lease of life, but so do people who visit the many other gurus in India, or Mother Meera, or Lourdes, and so on. My investigations into mind power find simple explanations for this.
If even only a handful of people sit quietly together to do Yoga meditation, circle work, or just to meditate, they expect and often get a lovely atmosphere, and sometimes, healing happens.
Imagine the energy that might be generated by hundreds of people sitting quietly focused for an hour or two in darshan. Amongst these are probably some natural or trained psychics, and natural or trained healers, as well as many people sitting still and focused for a lengthy period, perhaps for the first time in their lives. Different experiences are bound to occur. Nothing to do with Sai Baba.
I think the "love-connection" people experience is simply one connecting with one's Self.
When one gets involved with Sai Baba, a very subtle brain washing commences. Sitting for hours in darshan is one of these. When one sees all around with hands in prayer position, one naturally follows suite. Once attached and involved, common sense and logic progressively disappears, until one reaches the point of attributing every small act of living to Sai Baba.
Where to now? No more gurus for me. Once more, for me the true connection with God is inside me. No more giving my power away. To sit still quietly and talk to God within, I find gets real answers. To accept who I am in this life, and to do my best with my gifts, knowing that I am part of the Great Picture, is enough.
If I take any other subject I look at the pros and cons fearlessly. For example where I shop : Is the price good? Do they sell what I want? Or perhaps : Is this car what I really want? How many miles to the gallon? Insurance cost, deterioration, repair bills? Or : Is this double glazing well made? etc etc.
I choose from being presented the true facts. The car sales man was not knowingly waiting there for me, to give me an experience I needed for my life. I gave myself the experience by deciding to go that showroom. I consider this attitude should also be applied to spiritual subjects. I spent a lot of time believing what I was told by others - that this was a great test for me, and Swami was doing it to give me an experience.
From my conversations and observations with Swami I know for myself that this is not the case. I gave myself the experience, by listening to very well meaning people when I first heard about Swami, who in their turn had not done any research into the truth, but just believed others.
There are fantastic stories going round about Sai Baba”s supposed powers, but in five years searching I have not found one to be genuine. Always second hand information. People repeat these stories in good faith and then say "I know this was so", but how can they know? They were not there.
The above is first hand information.