REFLECTIONS ON THINKING AND SEEING GOOD
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"You have nothing to do with the good
and bad in others. Instead of wasting time, it should be utilised to discard
the bad and develop the good in you." (Sathya Sai Baba Sandeha
Nivarini § II, p. 12)
Negative feelings that we have about things,
people and events soon obtain a power of their own within us. Such negativity
attaches itself to thoughts and, when something recalls them, it returns along
with them. We get so used to having these feelings that we fall into thinking
their cause to be something outside us. When our own negativity is 'projected' outwards,
we then seem unable to change it. But it actually has no existence apart from
in our minds.
Negativity may be deep-seated, such as when
it first arose early in life, and we may not even normally recognise bad
thoughts and feelings for what they are. Such negativity drains us of the will
to act in the right way, which in turn depresses the spirit further; like a
'black hole' that increasingly draws energy into its own emptiness.
'REPRESSED' NEGATIVITY
Refraining from expressing such negativity of
feeling or thought is beneficial, provided that it is instead dealt with
internally and not simply 'repressed' (i.e. not stored up emotionally in the
form of fixed reactions, ideas etc.). If not examined and worked upon, it can
continue to lurk and spread subconsciously, later arising as bad dreams, in
unguarded words or uncontrolled behaviour and so on. It can cause many types of
self-destructiveness. Positive emotions, however, are probably less often
'subconsciously repressed' like that.
The force of stored
negativity, when worked out and released in the right spirit, converts into
constructive energy. There are
many good ways of working consciously to tap this; from self-examination and meditational reflection to outward techniques found in
group work, therapy and other interpersonal situations. The test of their
rightness and effectiveness must be how much non-attachment or equanimity is
achieved.
THE PRO- AND CON- ATTITUDES
I sometimes see how the same incident has
appeared alternately to me as negative and positive. What I felt strongly
against - like bad behaviour by someone - I may later realise in light of
reflection or new information, was a well-intentioned act instead. This can
also work in reverse. I usually put such instability in my judgement down to
insufficient detachment in making it... which means some sort of
self-attachment.
When, for example, grown men sometimes run
like unruly children to snap up a front place at darshan, or I hear a
self-important person harass ashram workers into giving the privilege of a
prominent spot, it is a test of my detachment. My reaction may need to be
examined to see whether or not it is founded in unselfish love or only in my
own desires. Maybe that person was hoping for a last chance to ask Baba
something on behalf of some desperately-ill person.
Winning or losing before challenges or before
goals we have ourselves set are prime motives for the pro- and con- attitudes
that upset our balance of mind. Rudyard Kipling stated the ideal of detachment
in his famous poem "If"; "If you can meet with triumph and
disaster, and treat these two impostors just the same".
WORKING FOR NON-ATTACHMENT
Sathya Sai repeatedly points out that thinking
of oneself as being a non-attached witness gives insight and that the rule to
follow here is to discover one's own errors and not those of others. The
absence of the negative and positive attitude, of like and dislike, despondency
and excitement, is non-attachment. This achievement surely cannot come suddenly
of some simple technique of ignoring the world around us, for such
self-knowledge arises from the struggle with many varied experiences in life.
The motivation to avoid negative emotions is
seldom strong until we really become convinced of their dangers. The effects of
feelings, whether in ourselves or others - and especially over the longer term
- should therefore be observed.
We can all note how, once we dwell on a
negative feeling that has arisen in us, it can extend itself to other areas and
to new events - both to real and imaginary situations - if it is not checked by
conscious effort. This is what I find Baba often refers to when He reminds us
to 'forget the past'.
This may happen with all sorts of doubts that
come up, unless attempts are made to see things from both the pros and cons,
both the plus and the minus sides. This makes for even-mindedness and helps us
to wait until further information or inspiration may come to settle unanswered
questions. But if a doubt persists, then put the doubt itself under the
microscope to see how it may be unfounded or false... rather than seeking
chiefly to pursue it further. This rational method of 'doubting-of-doubts'
often shows up the irrational in a conclusion to which we may have jumped or in
facts that we may have blown up into imaginary significance. This can give
control of the mind without simply having to give up one's judgement and it
also helps regulate the feelings.
One aid to developing detachment is making
'self-observational' notes in a spiritual diary that can aid in self-reflection
(and also reflect progress!). To reach correct insights and fruitful
self-development, observation must be repeatedly guided by the right questions
and inspired by ideas from spiritual literature, which provides the background
'theory' and a helpful framework for one's personal experiences.
SEEING, BEING AND DOING GOOD
Being 100% free from negative or bad thoughts
is doubtless best, but in my case that is still just an ideal, for they can
still pop up again and again in subtle different ways. If I try to discriminate
by examining and continually aiming to resolve or counteract and reject those
that are negative, I am already underway in detaching myself from negativity.
The goal of positive work to see the good in
everyone and in all situations often raises the objections: 'How can I see good when there seems to be only bad?' or 'To ignore and
deny the bad or to see good where the opposite is the case is naive or plain
foolish!' In response to this I note some ways in which negativity can
sometimes be converted into its opposite:-
1) Do not confuse the person with the
action: We may unavoidably observe a person's action as being bad without
also thereby seeing the person as bad. To think a person bad is usually to
fixate on certain actions while forgetting many others. One also ignores their
potential for changing to the better later on. Though the gap seems great
between us, I must not absolutise it in my mind. The
trap is that I might get into the habit of devaluating the other.
It is fair enough to recognise the difference
between good and bad behaviour, yet however much I
know, I always only see some of the observable part of another's many-sided
life. Our negativity in judging others causes us to act in less helpful ways -
even aggravate things - when we could just as well have looked on the bright
side and brought out the good in the other. This doesn't mean that I must
always go on humouring or even associating further with another.
2) Re-programme negative thought patterns:
It is unpleasant and bad for us to dwell on life's ills, the failings of others
or the madness of the world. Newsmen who continually attend to the evil horrors
of this world have repeatedly to fight against cynicism... an unenviable
occupational hazard. Similarly with everything that dejects,
depresses, disappoints, discourages disgusts, disheartens, dismays... and on
and on throughout whole dictionaries of ills. It is easy to moan about
any number of relatively trivial things. Better to be on the lookout for the
good and thus to 'make good', as they say.
3) Do not let injustice pass or untruth
fester: Seeing the good cannot mean closing one's eyes to the truth. Though
we must see the good in all, we are bound sometimes to experience wrong and
real injustice, or even worse. The situation and our consciences may call upon
us to speak out and to act, maybe even forcibly. This need not mean that we act
from negativity... such as when we think, speak and act with the genuine aim of
correcting things, lessening ill consequences, selflessly helping a victim or
intervening fairly so as to avert repetitions. Sometimes, to know a wrong, even
a minor one, and not to speak up or act is untruth, whether towards oneself,
others or both. This can weaken self-confidence and disturb peace of mind,
causing negativity in the shape of festering frustration or bitterness. But
great care and circumspection are doubtless always needed!
4) Wait, experience, and examine more before
judging: We may think a person's act to be bad when in fact it is good. The
goodness always lies in the intention or motive and never simply in the actual
result. What may seem to be done for bad reasons may, if we could see into the
heart of the doer, have been done out of a high motive or may just have been a
misguided effort. A well-meant action is morally good, even if it turns out
'badly' in fact due to the doer's ignorance of certain facts or lack of skill.
We are very often misled into misjudging
events by our own ideas, as deep reflection always proves. Others' glaring
weaknesses, if seen with inwardly-asserted patience and courtesy, may in time
be more understandable when we learn more about what lies behind them. The
feeling of aggravation may then be supplanted by understanding. Yet sometimes
we do reach unavoidable conclusions and are in no doubt about another's ill
intentions. Without trying to deceive ourselves we may, if evenminded,
still see other goodness in that person.
The main thing seems to be that we should
rather examine ourselves and our own motives whenever we think we can judge
another person's deepest motives. By adopting some conscious distance from our
thoughts we may gently overlook what we cannot condone or agree with in others.
5) Direct thoughts to
higher things: Good and bad are our subjective associations to things
arising from our desires and expectations, they are not objective qualities in
things, nor do they have ultimate validity. This applies both to pleasure and pain and even to
illness and suffering. It follows that thinking about or meditating on whatever
relates to the higher reality is affirmative of everyone and everything as it
leads away from the distinction of good and bad upon which negativity depends.
(Robert Priddy. March 1995)
The above material is the copyright of Robert Priddy,